Kingdom Hearts: Hurt No More
by Maverick Hunter Matt
Summary: A short story I'm writing as a sort of lead into Kingdom Hearts III. Sora connects with his all those who suffer because of him and is shaken to the core.
1. Reconnect

Kingdom Hearts:

Hurt No More

Chapter 1

Reconnect

His room was comfortable and messy, just how he liked it. The cool air of the tropical night swept through the open window and across his body. His blankets were bunched up around him as he slept soundly. As he breathed slowly and without hindrance, he lied still on his side in a dreamless rest. His brow, however, was furled; the thoughts that ran through his mind game him no relief. They were there just as they had been for weeks but he didn't really know what they were or where they stemmed. The starry sky blazed outside of his window and the soft light rained down upon him and a book on his bedside. The old binding was starting to wear but the pages inside were white and pristine in the dark. The book was open, sprawled similar to the boy on the bed, with words in bold black letters on the almost empty pages.

"We must return to free them from their torment."

They were words that he had read over and over again until they seemed to lose their meaning. The author of the journal hadn't written them. The meaning behind them had never been told, only that they were of the utmost importance. When he had been given the replica of the real book that it represented he was told that everything was connected. As a result, he had withdrawn to parts of the islands or his room for days on end. He had read the entirety of the book multiple times but each time he came to that particular passage he was forced to stop. Like a splinter or a shard, the words had instantly clung to him. He found himself musing the words to himself aloud in a tone that was not his own. He would stare out to the sea or the sky and whisper them. Each time he did he felt that he was getting further and further away from something important.

There was a reason to the message that he had to find. He didn't ask the friend who had given him the journal. He knew that the answer had to be found from within himself, he just didn't know how to get to it. At first it had been a puzzle he could not solve, so he decided to be patient and take solace in his friends and surroundings until he could return with a clearer mind. When he did come back, though, nothing had changed. The riddle vexed him so that his irritation had caused him to throw the book down on occasion, as if he could wound the physical words then they would divulge their secrets in defense. They hadn't. Now, he was playing a different game. He had shut himself up with the tome and refused all contact and distraction until he found the truth.

And in the night, his summons were heard. Three stars burned brighter in the sky than the others, static and twinkling in the blue and purple sky. Two more fell from the heavens across the sky, one chasing the other. The words drifted softly in the wind, more fitting than he knew.

"Sora."

Then he felt the ground crumble from under him. And he fell forever.


	2. Gone but Not Forgotten

Kingdom Hearts:

Hurt No More

Chapter 2

Gone but Not Forgotten

An all-white room stood in silence, as if all time had stopped. Sketches and rough drawings lined the walls of the stark room, and pure white light flooded in through the window. A person, a young blonde boy, sat at the head of a white, wooden table adorned with small knick knacks and other odds and ends. The boy was dressed in a combination of a white jacket and shoes, and a black shirt and pants and sat in an awkward, sort of pent up fashion. He seemed anxious, as if he didn't belong. As he sat in silence, he slowly moved his hands inside of a box and pulled out something that could not be seen from behind. Then he turned in a nonchalant manner, looking behind him with deep blue eyes and spoke.

"Hey," the greeting was very passive, lacking any emotion save a twinge of melancholy. "What are you doing here, Sora?"

"I, uh, dunno." He looked around at the room devoid of contrast and how out of place he seemed. "I guess I fell asleep and ended up here." He knew he was being studied both his words and placement. How he had come to be there, he did not know but he did know the resident. As he began to step forward he noticed the small, flat object and box that the other boy held and tried to crane he head in a casual manner. "What is that, Roxas?"

"Oh," the blonde boy looked back to his hand and turned away from his new companion, "Just some old photos. Reliving some old memories, I guess." He let out a small but hollow laugh and threw the picture he held on the table. "Funny, some of these photographs aren't even real, just fake memories that were given to me. But, I keep them. I go over them, maybe because I was never real, either."

"That's not true…" Sora spoke in defiance but as he ended, it sounded slightly desperate. It was if he was trying to make sense of some answer to a question that hadn't even been asked yet. As he neared the other chair opposite of the despairing youth he looked upon the picture he had thrown. It contained four people, one girl and three boys standing in front of an old mansion and smiling easily. One of them was Roxas

"Maybe the reason you hold on to them so much is because the meaning and connections were real, even if the memories weren't." His tone changed to an optimistic strength and he smiled at Roxas who did not even look back.

"So you're asleep? That's ironic. So am I. One of us gets to wake up, though." Roxas words were veiled in contempt. He looked up to Sora's gaze for just a moment before looking away in disgust.

"I'm sorry, Roxas, you don't deserve this. The only reason I made it this far was because of you, I know that. I wish there was something I could do."

"Yeah, me too," Roxas did not look up but responded with sarcasm and disdain, "I miss having a body of my own. Then again, I guess I never really had one to being with." Again, he gave an empty fragmented laugh. Sora could say nothing. What was there to say even if he had the ability? Everything Roxas had said was correct; one of them did get to wake up after this. After countless minutes in silence Sora tried again in a new way.

"Why are you going through them if you don't believe in them?"

"I'm looking for something. I have this feeling like I've forgotten something important. It's like a word on the tip of my tongue or a picture I can almost see but there's not enough light." Roxas still searched inside the box, occasionally pulling another photo from it to study before setting it aside.

"Can you describe it at all? Like, was it a place or maybe something you said?" Sora cocked his head in a quixotic way as he studied his host. "Anything?"

"No. I've gone over everything I can remember." The tone he used was despondent, as he let out a long sigh afterwards. Finally, he withdrew one last object before discarding the box, keeping it in his lap for a moment before holding it aloft. It was a small pink and white seashell, delicate and beautiful.

"I can feel her… but I can't remember her."

"Wait!" Sora leapt up in exclamation. "You just said 'her'. Was it a person you were trying to remember?"

Roxas was taken aback for moment. He hadn't even been aware of the words he said, let alone their implication. Something about the shell he held so tenderly had struck something and he looked back to his counterpart.

"Yes… but who? I can't remember anything! Just that…" He paused in contemplation for a moment before setting the shell down gently and kicking his chair away in frustration. "Why can't I remember?!" He stalked from his spot and slumped against the wall.

Shocked by the sudden outburst of emotion from one he knew was usually so cool and uncaring, he too stood up.

"She must have been real important." Sora stepped towards Roxas but turned away. He had this urge to go and try comfort him in any way he could but knew that there was nothing he could do. Looking down upon the seashell, something inside of him was compelled and he grasped it lightly. As his fingers touched the smooth and cool surface he saw a flash of something, an image that left so quickly it may have never been there at all. He had to shake his head for a moment as it swam trying to make sense of it all. Looking back at the shell, he took hold of it delicately and stopped.

There was something that happened but in a different sense. There was this intense sadness that saturated him. Sora felt the unmistakable sensation that had wracked him with guilt and pain before: the realization that you've been forgotten. There was also a new feeling; a thought that was not his own but manifested itself in little pieces and broken parts. The words came and went, sometimes inaudible or just outside of earshot. He strained so hard that every fiber of him seemed tense. He wheeled around to look at Roxas, now resting on the floor and that's when he heard the whisper.

"… He kept his promise."

"You promised her something, didn't you?" In a flash, Roxas was upon him. He grabbed the front of Sora's shirt, twisting in with anxiety and shock.

"What did you say? How did you know that?!" Sora tried to step back in bewilderment, but could not. He held the shell up to Roxas, shrugging and shaking his head. Roxas looked to Sora's hand in confusion before finally letting go. The look of hopelessness began to replace the desperate intrigue that had come over him as he reached out to take the shell again. When he touched the shell, still clasped in Sora's hand, however, the world around him bled away.

There was nothing around him, no light, no sound, no white room or objects, and no one else. He was alone.

Roxas took a step back, confused and uncertain of everything that had happened. He called out to Sora but there was no answer. He took a step forward but touched nothing. The young man began to panic after a few moments. He looked around everywhere, but all he saw was a vast void encompassing the entirety of his existence.

A soft voice spoke out to him, its source unknown but welcome and soothing.

"You don't have to be sad. You kept your promise, you know?" The voice was beautiful, gentle and understanding, but disheartened. It seemed to radiate a sense of acceptance that he could neither understand not abide.

"Who are you? What promise are you talking about? Are you the one I've been trying to remember?" His voice seemed unable to carry at all, losing definition and meaning. It was a struggle just to speak. The silence closed in around him once more and for the longest time he thought he would hear no answer.

"You helped to undo my mistakes. Thank you. Thank Axel too, or whatever he calls himself now." He searched all over but could see no one, frantically he looked and ran, hoping to see the speaker whose words moved his heart so much… but it was hopeless. His frustration began to turn to despair as he stood still, looking down. That is when he noticed he was still holding the shell in his hand. There, in the dark, the pearlescent object gave off a dim glow and he felt something inside slowly brush away.

Then there she was, standing opposite from him, her hair black as pitch and skin white as snow. Her eyes pierced through him, eyes that he had seen and known well. They were his eyes. In the dark she watched him, her eyes and mouth shaking as they projected a smile so sad that it seemed to knock the wind out of him. Roxas opened his mouth to speak but his throat closed and no words would come despite the questions that he wished to flood her with. Finally, mustering his effort he managed to stutter out one query.

"I… know you, don't I?"

She gave no answer, smiling wider even though the tears that had welled in her eyes now streamed down her cheeks and broke his heart to pieces.

"You know," she said in a sweeter tone that buckled under her pain, "it's almost worth being forgotten again as long as I can see you one last time." She moved her face away, sending the tears cascading from her face and sparkling into the endless dark. "I just- I wish we had spent more time together. That time… that's what I cherish most." On instinct he moved to her, trying to wipe away the tears that he knew, somehow, he had caused in his ignorance.

"Please don't cry." His fingertips were only inches away from her face, her closed eyes still shedding her glistening streaks. Before he could alleviate the hurt she felt his hand passed right through her, her outline shimmered, and he retracted his hand slowly in surprise before the memories flooded him. Such force was too much for him and he collapsed to the unseen ground, trembling.

He remembered everything in that one instant, looking up at her as she kneeled beside him and tried her best to smile. For what seemed like a lifetime, he remembered all they had shared so long ago and felt all of her joy and sorrow all at once. Then, like water through a cloth, he began to lose it all.

"Oh, Xion… I'm so sorry. I- I couldn't save you."

"Please don't…" she said so hurt that his throat closed and burned with loss and lament. "You kept your promise and were there with me in the end. That's all that mattered. And even though you'll forget me again, I'll always have those memories."

Roxas rose to his knees as she stood looking down on him. He sought something, anything to make her anguish go away, if only for a moment. He leaned closer to her, trying to find some way to touch her, stopping just short of her now fading image. She moved closer, wrapping her weightless arm around his neck and tried to hold him close. In that one moment, they connected and felt the warmth of each other completely.

"I promise I'll never forget you. I swear."

The light broke through the darkness like a tidal wave, leaving him on his knees in the blinding white room he had left behind. A boy in red and black clothing stood before him, holding a pale pink seashell, his mouth open and crying silently.

Sora took a few steps back, stumbling to the side before collapsing to his hands and knees. His chest felt like it was caving in; every time his lungs tried to expand and return air to his body they seized and stalled violently. Roxas did not move or speak, lost and powerless. Silently, his vision began to blur with tears that fell in a numb and swift response knowing he had lost her again and would slowly forget what little he remembered soon. Then he started to shake, his entire body quaked and became hot.

He was on his feet, walking slowly to the table whence he sat. In a sweeping arc and fury, he flung the pictures from the surface to the floor. He grabbed the smooth edge of the table with his open hand and flung it vertically against the wall. The sounds of snapping wood echoed in the small room as his punches and kicks splintered the once pristine piece of furniture. Roxas only stopped once there were no more fragments large enough to break.

"So much pain," Sora finally gasped. Roxas turned suddenly, surprised that he was not alone and took stock at the devastation he had wrought. Looking at the pictures and the fractured pieces of wood, he saw that he still held the seashell in his hands

"All these false memories I can recall on command… but I can't hold on to the one real thing I have." Roxas felt like his whole body was crushed from all sides as he fell to the ground. "I can't. I can't bear the thought that she suffers because of me." He wanted to call to her and apologize but her name had already begun to slip away and there was no more breath in his lungs.

Sora could do nothing, and that was the worst of it. That for the first time in his life he watched someone suffer and was helpless to do anything about it. The true tragedy was that he was seeing such sorrow and torture from someone that was never supposed to exist. But he did and so did she. Because of him.

"Please, Sora," Roxas looked up and the two boys locked eyes, "you have to save her. I did this to her. She sacrificed herself to free me. The reason you made it wasn't because of me but because of her. I beg you… don't let her be forgotten. You have to do something." Sora slowly stood up, letting the truth of his mirror image's words crash upon him. Both of them felt their hearts break and tighten in their chests, pushing them to action.

The young man made his way over the broken pieces of the table that Roxas had torn to shreds. He looked at the devastated object then to the wall, closing his eyes and steadying his breathing. Already the images of the girl and the encounter were slipping completely beyond recovery but the connection had latched on like gravity. He took a sharp piece of wood and began to scrawl upon the unmarked walls with heavy strokes, often breaking the splintered piece of table further only to start again.

After minutes of scratching he finished and stepped back to help Roxas. With hesitation, the blonde boy looked up to Sora and struggled to his feet alone. As they looked at one another both tried to regain some form of composure. Then Sora spoke in serious tone that neither thought him capable of.

"I promise, Roxas. I'll save both of you. Then you two can make new memories to treasure." Slowly, they both turned to the wall Sora had carved upon and stood admiring it. "Until then, this will help you remember. Ok?"

All collected pretense left Roxas for the first time. He slowly touched the wall, tracing each curve and line as the tears continued once more. Even though both of them had now forgotten the image of the person, they were no longer gone from memory.

Roxas spun on his heel and embraced Sora, never saying a word but speaking full well with his intent of gratitude. Sora felt the world and everything in it begin to dissolve way. His eyes closed against his will and fell once more into oblivion. As he fell, there was only one thought in his mind.

"They both deserve to be their own person…"

There, in the white room stood a young man staring at the wall that read one word:

"Xion"


	3. Stones and Mortar

Kingdom Hearts: Hurt No More

Chapter 3

Stones and Mortar

He was sitting on the beach of his beloved island. The warmth of sun and softness of the sands meant nothing with his mind weighted down with his thoughts. These questions had no answer and even if they did they would bring him no relief. He had to ask them over and over until they might as well have been the very foundations of his world. Why should he have the privilege of being a "real" person while others more worthy than him languished in a void? What did being real even mean? What if he didn't really exist anymore? After all, he had shed his body and his heart before; he had been lost and forgotten. Perhaps he was the emptiest shell of them all. Maybe the only difference was that he had more photographs inside of a bigger box.

"I hate this," he thought to himself so loud that he may have actually said it. He was thankful to be alone as speaking to anyone would require more energy than he had left. More than anything he wanted to be with someone, anyone, any connection to stop the feeling of growing insecurity. Then the realization hit him that every single minute of every day this was their life. This is how they felt… always.

That hurt so much more. He brought his knees to his chest and laid on his side holding his breath as long as he could, trying to disappear and not feel the sadness anymore.

Then a voice washed over him that was so sweet and gentle that for just a second the horrible emptiness ebbed away.

"What's the matter, Sora?"

He relinquished his hold over his legs and sat up to see a blonde girl in a beautiful white dress looking at him with a smile that caused him to breath with relief. Her blue eyes were deep as the ocean and her loving expression made him feel that there was no where she would have rather been and no one more she would have rather seen.

"Naminè," he stood up and started dusting himself off, trying to brush off the events and their effect upon him. "Where are we? What are you doing here?"

"Hmm. We're on your island, silly. And we're doing the same thing. Thinking very hard on things," her smile broadened and she turned to look at the sea. Sora's smile faded abruptly and the sadness washed over him anew. Her smile looked so similar to the mystery girl who he had now all but forgotten. It was a smile that one used to mask the real feelings so.

"How are you here, then?" His tone changed, as he tilted his head, to one of caution and uncertainty. Things were different now, he could feel it. It was as if all the air around them vibrated and the next thing to break the silence would break it forever.

"Do you want me to leave you?" She turned to face him and though her words had impact and sincerity, her tone and expression never changed from their sweet allure.

"I only mean that… this is my memory of my island but I don't know how you're here. You're not my nobody. Aren't you with Kairi?"He tried to sound apologetic but he feared that it came off as disingenuous.

"I am," she nodded and smiled as sweetly as ever before turning back to the sea. "But remember, without you I would not have come to be. Her heart sought refuge in yours when your world was lost to the darkness. When you freed her heart, a part of her and a small piece of yourself became… me." She seemed lost in thought for a moment before resuming. "Though, I'm not really here. Not in the sense that you think of as Roxas, at least. I'm more like an echo."

Sora seemed to accept this as he turned his gaze away from the girl in white and back to the sand. He knew he was in his own mind, that much was certain but the purpose still eluded him. He dared not ask the girl as he had learned long ago that memories can lie. He also knew that to simply be given the solution to this problem would gain him nothing. Finally, he came up with a question that, while he was unsure if she could answer, may give some clarity to his situation. Like the missing piece of the puzzle he could use.

"Naminè, why did you write those words in the journal?" His words caught her off guard. The sudden revelation was far sooner than she had anticipated. It was not what she had expected him to ask and her shock put Sora ill at ease. "I know Jiminy pretty well and those words aren't his. Why not just tell me what you have to say?"

Suddenly, Sora wished he hadn't asked any questions at all. Her smile still remained but the false happiness behind it melted away. That smile and the feeling it caused him made him wish everything would just stop and be ok. The sun would filter through him and he would escape all the sorrow that he seemed to cause. Slowly, she walked over to him and touched his cheek.

"You are right, I did put those words there but they aren't mine. They don't belong to any one person. They're all the people connected to you who suffer." The feeling struck him with such power that he collapsed to his knees and began to weep as he had before.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything! It's all my fault that you no longer exist. Roxas, you, everyone in all the worlds that I've messed up... even Kairi and Riku were hurt because of me. I was either too late or too weak to stop any of this. Please, Kairi, please forgive me."

"Oh, Sora…" She lifted his chin and smiled again, trying to wipe away his pain but only hurting him further. "None of us blame you, not a single one." She kneeled down to meet his eyes and cupped his cheek again. As he closed his eyes, he felt a fleeting sense of peace and was able to recover slightly.

"You came for all of us. Riku, Kairi, me. Even Roxas would never admit it, but he was glad that you showed up to save us all. And all the friends you've made over the worlds you've traveled. What would Cloud, Aladdin, Mulan, or any of the countless others have done if not for you? How many worlds would have been lost entirely if you hadn't saved them? Don't you see, none of us begrudge you."

"But how can you say that?" He turned his head and stood in confusion. "Because of me Roxas lost his friends. He had to give up his body. How much damage did I do? Even you had to cease existing so I could get here. What makes me so much better that I get to go on while you don't?" The intensity of his feeling and words crashed against Naminè and she could offer no remedy. "I wish I could give it up. I would give up everything if it meant you could be free." He looked to her, trying to see what she could possibly justify his being over hers with, but she did not return his gaze. She looked at her feet, her face blushing in shame and eyes welling with tears.

"You might not say that if you knew the truth," the beauty and sorrow of her words cascaded over him. "I've done… terrible things to you. I did awful things to everyone around you. And then when Roxas and Xion had their own lives, I tore them apart to set yours right." Her tears were barely contained as she hung her head lower. "I am the reason everyone forgot you for a time."

"I don't care."

She gasped, feeling like some great weight was dispelled.

"I remember what you did. Not all of it, but a lot. I remember the castle and the fake memories that you put there. I remember you having to take apart the false chain so I could get them all back. But… I remember how I felt. I remember that I didn't blame you once. You helped me… and look where it's gotten you. I was supposed to help you… but I never did."

"Yes you did. Without you I would still be in Castle Oblivion. I would never have met my real friends or anyone else. Kairi would have never been completed. All the good that you've done for us… we could never do on our own."

"So what?!" he threw his hands up and stomped, every muscle in his body tensed as he screamed. "I can't do this, Naminè. I can't be this hero if I have to use all the people around me as stepping stones. And how can I be sure I'm even me, anymore? All I seem to be is the parts and pieces of other people that had to sacrifice themselves. What if the Sora I was is gone and I'm someone completely different. I don't want that for any of you… that the only way you can go on is as a piece of me." There was a sense of nervousness in his words and his body seemed to be wasting away at his doubt. The feeling drained him to the point where he sat back upon the sands and pulled his knees back to his chest.

"How am I any better than Xehanort?"

The words were right in his ear, the breath of the beautiful nobody grazing his skin, and all feelings ceased except the happiness that it brought. It was the feeling he knew when he found a girl he had searched for years to find and finally held her in his arms. This time, however, it was her echo's arms that embraced him.

"Sora, you don't have to worry. The only heart you break is your own with your doubt. All of us, all of your friends… we're not gone. You see us as stepping stones that you had to use. You are the stones and mortar of our worlds. You saved us," she rested her head against his back and he felt the very current of good and hope she had flowing into him.

"We love you… and it was only through you that we found the peace we did. I-" her words for a moment and her voice waivered. It was bitter sweet, this feeling because it wasn't what originally existed, it was only consolation. "The price was high, none higher than for you. We should apologize to you… and I'm so sorry you suffer because your heart is connected to ours."

She had to stop. Her hands were now in his, warmly and sweetly held and it was a feeling she had never felt. It was as if both their world moved while shaking the fiber of reality itself. He turned slowly to face her and when he looked at her, she knew that he cared for her more than she knew.

"I'll find a way to help you, I promise. You can have you own life. You can draw your pictures with everyone. We'll all be together. I'll bring us all together, somehow. There's a way to save you, and Roxas, and that girl he misses. Everyone."

Tears of happiness flowed freely from her wide and loving eyes. She knew that once he made a promise it was one she could count on. But, she laid her hand on his chest and stopped him.

"I know you will. But… I have to tell you something. You have to know the reason behind it all. I want you to save Roxas and everyone else. But there's more that you have to see."

"What?" Sora's heart grew warm and resonated, as if his heart was a string and she pulled it until it began to unwind.

"You asked me why I put those words in the journal," she looked away as if searching for the right expression. "They aren't my words, I only repeated them. They are another's. You may have forgotten him, but he says those words every day when he sees you. I know you care about all of us but I need you to truly listen to me when I say this." Sora's eyes intensified, hanging on every word as if his very life depended upon them. This was the clue he had searched for, he was sure.

This was where it all began.

"He is where it all began. He gave everything he had. He fought long before any of us did, and he suffers more than all of us. He is the best of us, Sora… I beg you, if you can help any one of us, help him. Please." Her tone had become almost frantic. "He's the reason your heart could save Kairi's. He's the reason you can use the keyblade, he's the reason Roxas and myself are unique. He's protected you and Riku. But more importantly, he's the first person you ever saved… and now he needs you more than ever."

"When do I meet him?" Sora's voice turned to steel. If someone this important had been helping him and given him so much and now needed his help there was no question that he would give them everything. But Naminè just smiled leaned closer until she spoke into his ear again. As her words cascaded over him, he felt himself lulled to sleep and he fell once more.

"He's been with you from the very beginning. Tell him I'm waiting for him."


End file.
